The Lord placed on my heart, to share my story. The beginning of the story is tough for me because I don’t want to sound like I think I am more special than others. Because I do not.
When I was young I was given a message that I did not understand where it came from or what it meant. I recall standing at the back door and i in my head I heard these words "you will do more" and it made me nervous wondering what that could
Possibly mean? And who did I even think I was to be so special of doing more? I knew that the words did not come from me they were placed in my head to hear. I heard different variations of that message a few times through the years"There’s more for you, You’ll be more". I wasn’t sure I liked it because I didn’t want to do great things I wanted to be a wife and mom. At the time I didn’t share this with anyone because I was embarrassed to sound or look conceited. I eventually married and had had a son.
When I was 45 my entire life was shaken and changed, 10 days after running my first Half marathon I suffered a massive stroke leaving me paralyzed on one side of my body I had to learn to walk again to dress myself. After four months in inpatient rehab at the hospital and nursing home, I returned home to my family only to realize my role in my family changed. I was unable to dress myself and my husband had to assist me in the shower and dress me every day; making him my caregiver and me the patient not the relationship you want with your spouse. My relationship with my son changed as well. At the hospital he overheard that I might not make it through the night and I believe it was at that time he distanced himself from me. After my husband went back to work I had to have a caregiver which made us all uncomfortable having a stranger in our home. I fought anger and depression constantly demanding "Why did this happen to me?!" over and over. When I asked myself what if I never find out why?my answer became: Who cares? What am I going to do if I never find out? Be mad at God? No because I need him too much and he needs me as well. I rested on Romans 8;28 " And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose . " many people, (myself included), read that and stop at the word good. One day I finished verse 28"...According to ". His purpose"His purpose. His purpose His purpose may not be the same as mine but will be far better than anything I could imagine. He did not cause the stroke to happen. It just happened, and he will r work it into something good perhaps to benefit others, not necessarily me. I just may be used to have a positive impact on others I have been asked to speak to different groups of people to share my story. After speaking, I’ve had several people come to me in tears telling me why what I shared impacted them . That could not make me happier because after all of this happened I desperately needed something good to come from all this bad.
A friend once asked me if God could take all of this away and the stroke never happened. And He asked me to do it all over again to be used to help others would I do it? With little hesitation, I immediately answered of course I would becauseI i would miss the graces I have had the privilege of seeing along the way. And now I get to be used to show God’s glory in all of this. Perhaps, that is my "something more".?
GENUFLECTING MINISTRIES
Bible Studies, Speaker,Writer,Hospital and Nursing Home Prayer Ministry.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
"why?!" Doesn’t have to Matter
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Why I am Catholic; My journey of faith
Friday, April 24, 2015
All The Single Ladies
Friends,. today's post is a
tough
So
tough, that I sought approval from my husband to write about it. You see,
we are going to speak frankly about s-e-x. Yes, you heard me. This
particular post is intended for the single ladies. this old lady( think of me like a beloved aunt here thinks she has some wisdom,that should be put to good, practical use and not go
to waste.
I notice the Church(all all denominations included)focuses the "wait for
marriage" messages on the teens, while young,single adults don't hear anything. Perhaps that is why God prompted me to share my
tale. (take one for the team,if you will)
Waiting for marriage was commanded by God for very real reasons. He
didn't simply pull something out of a hat and say "Yes, this should "or shalt" be one
of the 10." Now that I've been through it all I I have some
understanding as to why we are intended to wait. Here is my story:
(Dang boy, sharing this is scary for me.)
I started dating bachelor number one when I
was 24 One thing led to another, and I lost my
virginity at the age of 24. Let's be frank I didn't "lose" anything I
served it up on a platter
Of course we eventually broke up. Then along came bachelor number two
who epitomizes the thinking/belief that "hurt people hurt people". After having already
been intimate once. it was easier to do it the second time.
Eventually I ran far away from bachelor number two.
Finally I met
the
man who was to become my husband. As happened the last time when you’ve already done it once or twice it becomes easier to do it again Tom"DA bomb"and I
got married when I was 34 years old. We missed out on that sweet season
of waiting and eager anticipation. .
Remember and hold tight to the
special reasons they tell you to wait back in your days in youth
group. And have faith and trust that God knows what he is doing His
plan for you is always way better than your own plan . Amen?