Recreating yourself

What is a person to do what her life is turned upside down and everything she thought she was is no longer true?  I was faced with this question at the tender age of 45 after I had a massive stroke June 4, 2013. I had to relearn how to walk how to's talk how to swallow I lost use of my left arm and hand I had to have two craniectomy's(which does give me brain surgery bragging rights which a put to p to good use a time or two)

Prior to my stroke I was I was a happily married mother of one 10 year old son,, I had a job enjoyed, I was a runner (I had just completed my first half marathon). Then.   My stroke. I could no longer run. or walk for that matter my amazing husband would  become my caretaker and I was nowhis patient.  Which is not what I wanted to be to him.    At one point my son learned I might not live through the night so he pulled away from me to protect himself. He was also at the age where boys need to distance themselves from their moms(tween years... such good times!). All of this broke my heart I did not know who I was anymore. My occupational and physical therapists and doctors all told told me I had to make become a new person and create a new life. Hearing that made me angry because I loved my life and I liked who I was before my stroke

A long time believer, I was angry with God that this happened I wanted to know why. I had been faithful to Him for so many years I did not understand why he was not faithful back to me.   I finally came to the conclusion that the l"why"does not have to matter. God will use all things for his purpose that's all that
need to care about that this will serve his purpose as long as it brings him glory in some way shape or form I could power through it.  I 

And so I have, with the support of many. My husbands helps me with most of my daily tasks. I have wonderful friends who visit with me while my husband ( Tom DA Bomb) is at work   I'm still in therapy to regain the use of my left side. There have been blessings through all of this dark  time. When my son was 2weeks old, I went back to work full time which was hard to manage bothlogistically and emotionally. If he was home sick from school. DA bomb and I would split the day and each work half a day and stay home with hLogan the other half. Living in Northern Michigan, we often get hit with a lot of snow, causing school to be cancelled. On those days, I would take him to spend the day with my mom. Now, I have the opportunity(blessing) to be home with him on those days (as I am not yet able to return to work).

I have decided to launch a ministry  praying with people in hospitals and nursing homes. 

One night when I was in the hospital I was overwhelmed with fear and anxiety and just wanted somebody to pray with me. At that particular time I didn't have any friends or family there which was a very rare thing. I even asked some of the nurses thif they would pray for me and they were not comfortable doing so

I was so over so filled with anxiety I could barely breathe. I knew that at times like that the Holy Spiritmoans and groans and it makes interceeding on our behalf but I needed to hear the words spoken over me. For some reason, I couldn't find the words to pray for myself at that  time. I called many of my friends and family members ticket prayer but since it was about threeo'clock in the morning they were sleeping and nobody answered. I finally got my husband on the phone who prayed with me over the phone. 

I'm sure there are many patients in the hospital who would like someone to pray over them they may not have the great friends that I was blessed with9w. I intend to fill that void and visit thehospital nurse stations and tell them that they have anybody who is desperate for prayers to call me and I'll go right there and spend time talking to them. And get to know them and pray over them. It brought such great piece for me I hope it does the same for them. 

During one of my low points since I returned home I tsent a textdid you know "texted" is not a word?According to blogger anyway! crazy stuff right there) to my my friend Jane and told I didn't know if I could do this much longer(I was feeling a bit hopeless, and have a flair for the drama). She wrote right back that should be over with a carmel latte(that's just what good friends do.  Great friends include whipped cream). 10 minutes later she arrived at my door with a plan for me. As the Social Director of a local retirement community she offered me the opportunity to teach a Bible study to some of her residents. I have long had a heart for seniors and a passion for Bible study, making this a great fit for me. I'd like to continue leading Bible studies at different nursing homes and spending time with those who are lonely there. After I was discharged from the hospital I lived in a nursing home for six week(again remember my tender age I was at the time!). This was such a dark time in my life. The one thing that made a difference for me was when two of my friends Cris and Dawn came to visit me almost every day. Laughing with them made all the difference in my day. I would like to to go visit people in nursing homes who don't have family in town or friends who visit  often.  If I go on a regular basis and build a friendship. it woill give them something to look forward to each week and give them hope for a good week. My ministry will also include articles I plan to write and submit for publication to Christian magazines.  I'm also going to write a Bible study about all that I have learned in this refiner"s fire.

I have always wanted to have a ministry and I've been able to take college courses online during my time at home which will get me a religious studies degree- Along-time goal.  

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